I have made a promise to myself...to keep the promises I make here with you, my blogdosts. And I do remember I've promised you so many things and have not kept most of them. But I'm sure you'll let me make up for them now :))

So, here's the first of the few surprises I have for you :). Here is a poem from the many poems I have written...

When I look at the sky,
I wonder its height.
When I look at the stars,
I wonder their count.
When I think of the ocean,
I wonder its depth.
When I look at the high peaks,
I wonder their goal.
When I look at the flowing water,
I wonder its destination.
When I look at the sea waves,
I wonder their force.
When I hear the rustling of leaves,
I wonder their source of music.
When I feel the gentle breeze,
I wonder what they whisper.
When I look at the glowing sun,
I wonder its intensity.
But...when I feel that gentle touch
When I think of the vastness of love..
I wonder of no other
But only one, who was my mother...

This was the second poem I wrote in English. In fact, it was in that phase of life that I came to know that I could articulate my feelings and write.

And now...time for another surprise! And I'm sure you'll love it! It's been a long time that I've known you...in fact, you all are very important parts of my real and virtual world. It took me some time to come up with this idea through which I can express my love and gratitude towards you. So here it is.... from now, till the first post of the New Year (2010), I will send out surprise gifts to the first two blogdosts who comment on my posts :).

Sounds fun? But naah....that surely does NOT mean that you don't comment after the first two are there! I love to hear from you and what you have to say about my posts (Does that make me sound so desperate for comments? I don't mind :D ).

So there you go....don't forget to mail me the address you'd like to receive your gift when you post a comment :)

Till the next post...take care and stay precious :)

Before you think that the negativity and sadness in the last post has lingered on with me just a little too long, that's not the case. I have just not been able to get the time to write...and so have also not been able to reply to your comments. Will make up for it very very soon :).

Now to what's been keeping me busy? First, of course work! I'd so love to be at home for sometime with some good books, good TV shows and lots of blogging! Second, it's few other things at the home front calling for my attention and third, it's the lot many marriages that are happening this season. Everyone around me (and single!) seems be tying the knot this season! I just hope my father does not get to know this, else, my winters is ruined!

On another note.....I am happy! Why? Because my landlord finally kept his words and got my place painted! Trust me, this was A TASK! It was something I had been waiting for ever since I moved into this place. So after a year and a half of requesting, coaxing and even threatening (!!!), he finally got it done. I did not, even once, mind my entire weekend going into this laborious and gigantic task...instead, I was busy listing what all I needed to shop to decorate my newly-done place :).

But believe me, this is one mammoth work, and I give all credit to Shivani who gets our home done year after year! From looking for accommodations to coordinating the entire shifting process... and all this all by myself, I have done it all. In fact, I have always listed these as my achievements!!! But this entire painting process unnerved me. Moving the entire stuff (I have a complete household!), preparing for rooms to get washed in new colors, instructing the labor, selecting colors (this was the only exciting part!), testing the shades, supervising.... it was something! Then, I went shopping with my list and came back smiling....I had managed to get the perfect curtains and other decor stuff and I just couldn't wait for the paint to dry and settle in. So after the painting that ended late Sunday evening, I have been decorating and adorning my place bit by bit. Now, the next task on my list is to invite friends over for a brunch! Man...I am excited!!!

And yes, I have some little surprises in store for you, blogdosts. Naah, I'm not letting the kittens out yet...you'll have to wait for them :))! And don't worry, the wait won't be too long either. I know this month has been quite a drag in terms of the frequency of my posts...but I just told you who all to blame...right? ;)

Won't let this weekend go dry...till then, take care and stay precious!

His unconfessed love was her strength and she was ready to do anything to make it hers forever. She fought with herself, her people and her world. She did what she was asked to and all that she was expected to do to make their relationship work - from convincing her family to the fruitless efforts to please his. She created her world in his, rather, he was her world! She waited for him to do his bit - to convince his family, to tell her that he too wanted to be with her forever, to take her in his arms and confess his unsaid love for her. And he did return. He told her not that he has convinced his family, but that they've convinced him that she was not the right girl for him. He confessed not her love for her, but his inability to fight to be with her. He returned not to take her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her, but to bid the final goodbye. He went while she looked on. She saw her dreams shattering before her while she watched helpless with nothing but her loneliness and tears with her.

^^^^^^^^^^^^

They were childhood friends, in fact the best of friends. They studied together before he left the city for a lucrative job abroad. The first couple of years went in the zeal and toil that goes in the first job; and then, he felt something amiss. He could sense a loneliness that he had ignored all those years. He called her and they spoke with a passion they had never felt before. After the call, he knew what his life missed...it was her. He returned home and they married. Life became a bliss. He took a new job in another city, which she made their home. Then, one day, he had to return...to his home, to his ailing aged parents...for he was their only support. He returned, but she refused. She did not want to go to a life like that. Disagreements led to arguments. She sought her share in his fortune and managed to take away all that he had earned. She left him, ....while he looked on, broken and shattered having lost it all, but his parents.

^^^^^^^^^^^^

She thought herself to be the luckiest for she had him, his love and their togetherness. He was always there for her and with her and had been that way for the past seven years. She dreamt about their future together and she knew her dreams were not a farce. His presence in her life and his love assured her. That day, she was very happy. After all, she was going to meet him after full five weeks. She wore the dress he had gifted her on her last birthday, and rushed to meet him. She opened the door of his room, her hands laden with flowers and gifts she had bought for him...and stood there...still and shocked. He was there...with another girl. She felt anger rise within her, but it soon gave way to the sense of loss and being cheated. She turned around...away from the love, which she thought was hers....away from the dreams she had lived with all those years.

^^^^^^^^^^^^

Last week, I posted a line 'Love becomes eternal because of the love the lovers share' as my status line on Facebook, when I received mixed responses and spoke to friends with whom I have not been in regular touch for some time now. We exchanged greetings and caught up with the developments in each others' lives. What I got to know then had me in a state of stupor. I have seen many relationships blossom and many break all around me. I have seen it happening with people I love and care for. And each time, I'm left with questions, questions that flood my thoughts, questions that make me wonder if true love really exists today, questions that always remain unanswered. I know it's wrong to question the very existence of love based on some incidences. I, also, know that love exists all around us in its true and pure forms. Yet, when I hear of someone making a farce out of it, my reaction remains the same...one of shell-shock silence. Of course, everyone moves on...but the questions remain.

I know, blogdosts, that this is yet another sad post, and that too after a long gap. However, I had to share it with you, to help get my mind get rid of the negativity that had come in after I got to know of them. But I promise a chirpy-happy Neha post next time!

Till then, take care and stay precious :)

This month seems to have injected laziness into me. Not lazy in terms of work, but simply writing. The reading front is going fine and am completely into Indian fiction these days, though some books that were simply not worth it; but I never leave a book half-read however bad it may be. So I had to read (better put - tolerate) those till I finished them off! Thankfully my last read - Making the Minister Smile (Anurag Mathur), was a good one and did much to help get me over the previous two disasters! Thanks to Chetan bhagat, we have a whole new clan of writers who write only in conversational English, which does little to make a good read. Taking inspiration is one thing and pulling it to the extent of distortion is another! And the kind of language they use is definitely not the kind anyone would take up reading for! Now that gets me thinking! If these writers can find a publisher...so can I!

OK, let's stop me here...and go on with a tag. Tags are surely the best help when I don't have any or have too many things to post here! They give me time to think more and hence, prioritize. So here goes another one and this one came from Nupur :)

1.What is your current obsession ?
Saving!!! Yeah, honestly! All shopping has been put on halt for sometime. And this is for nothing in particular.

2. What are you wearing today?
A pink top and grey trousers :)

3. What’s for dinner?
Too soon to say :)

4. What’s the last thing you bought?
Footwear... that was 2 months back!

5. What are you listening to right now?
People here and there and all around me!

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
A good blogger and a great person....our friendship was a sweet coincidence :)

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Somewhere in the mountains!

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
Kurtis and churidar; white shirt/top; a couple of comfortable pairs of jeans

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?Only for an hour?
The Oprah Winfrey Show (it's a one hour show, right?)

10. Which language do you want to learn?
Punjabi! And I'm serious...I find myself at complete loss of words with Punjabis all around me in Delhi!

11. What’s your favourite quote?
'Live Rather Than Exist'...and this one has been coined by me :))

12. Who do you want to meet right now?
My Grandfather :(

13. What is your favourite colour?
I like all vibrant colors :)

14. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own closet?
Currently, it's the kurti I got from Cotton World!

15. What is your dream job?
A perfect home maker! (Mind you, that's a full-time job!)

16. What’s your favourite magazine?
The good old Readers' Digest :)

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Too less to think about...give me more, then I plan :)

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
Bad footwear!

19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
Aishwarya Rai!

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
The one I have now and have had for five years now (the length has varied though :) )

21. What are you going to do after this?
Treat myself to a Chocolate Truffle ... No, not for the labor I put into this...it was planned since afternoon :)

22. What are your favourite movies?
A long list...

23. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you can't live without?
Jordana Blue kajal, Maybelline Lip Gloss and David Off perfume

24. What inspires you ?
Life!

25. Give us three styling tips that always work for you?
The right attitude teamed with confidence and a smile...works magic!

26. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)?
Aah...this happens every day! And every day, I manage to find something :)

27. Coffee or tea?
Coffee...cold please :)

28. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
Read or go out for a walk.

29. What is the meaning of your name?
Cherished beauty!

30. Which other blogs do you love visiting?
Brittany's, Nupur's, Ani's, Melissa's, Shobha De, Kelsey's...and many more :)

31. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?
Rasgullas and kaju barfi...yumm!

32. Favorite Season?
All of them... read this and you'll know why :) - http://neha-liveratherthanexist.blogspot.com/2009/05/25-random-things.html

33. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
All that you like :)

34. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
Just IGNORE them...no right or wrong about them!

35. How do you calm yourself down when you are agitated or angry?
Stay quiet and let the storm settle on its own! The outburst is always bad!

36.Who is the modern ideal girl..the one who knows how to shop, dress and enjoy or the one who is simple but manages the house, kids and herself well?
A blend of both...balance is the key :)

So, I'm done...and for the tagging...I tag Brittany, Melissa, Sarika & Ani. Happy tagging guys :)

I have been away for some time from this space and that is not without a reason. It was because I was not able to keep my promise and so was determined that I will post only when I'm able to complete what I set out for. And though I have not yet completed the task, I have removed the hurdle in my way. So am feeling better and thus sharing it with you, my blogdosts :).

Do I not make sense? Aah...OK, let me explain. As promised, I went to the orphanage on Sunday afternoon to spend time with children there. I was all prepared for the little competition that I had to organize...with gifts, chocolates, candies...everything. The moment the children saw me, they rushed towards me, calling out 'Neha Didi' (elder sister). I was overwhelmed when they surrounded me telling me what all they had prepared and practised for the competition. Just then, their caretaker arrived saying that I could not spend time with them! I was shocked. She explained there were some changes and now I needed permission from the magistrate, not from the orphanage office alone! I had to return and I hated to look at the disappointed faces of the children and more so, I hated myself for being the cause of it!

Nevertheless, I went to the Magistrate's office this morning, submitted an application and was assured that I will be granted permission...all this in about two and a half gruelling hours. And I detested every bit of it, but the faces of those children made me stay put. I went into the superintendent's room and explained everything. Now, she was one busy woman with a call on her mobile phone with another one on hold on the land line! She managed to wrap up the first call in about 20 minutes and then proceeded to finish the next one in nothing less than 25 minutes. All this while, there was another group of women in another room having tea and gossipping away. So after she completed her important calls, she turned to me, 'So, what can I do for you?' I was aghast. Had I not just explained everything to her before she royally ignored me for those very short calls? Anyways, I kept my cool and repeated the story once again. She replied, nonchalantly, 'So file an application and we will look into your request.'
'Okay, ma'am, where do I need to submit it?'
'You can give it here or at the orphanage.'
'Sure, I will.' And I walked out of her room and asked the peon for a blank sheet of paper. Now, he was the only person with some concern and sense of duty. He gave me a sheet and even asked me to sit comfortably and write. I was more than thankful. Oh, did I mention that Madam Superintendent did not bother to offer me a seat all that while that I was in her room?

So, I wrote the application and waited for another half hour to give it to her. Of course, she was busy attending another important call! After reading the application, she bombarded me with questions giving me no time to even breathe - Which NGO do you work with; why do you want to do all this; where do you live; what activities will you do with the children; what days will you visit; how long your visits will be; where do you work; who told you about the orphanage; do you know anyone working there...and she went on. I tried my best to provide her with convincing answers. And finally, she reread the application and looked up, 'Okay, we will grant you permission.'

Hurrah! Finally! I thanked her and came out of the building, only with a bigger need to vent after all this ordeal... and that I did. Well, I should say, I am doing it all again right here!

However, I am happy. I will be able to keep the promise I made to the children. This has delayed the closure of the Joy of Giving celebrations, but late is better than never, right? So, this Sunday, I will do just that and will share all the smiles with you :)).

Take care and stay precious :)