I wonder if there is still anyone around to read this. No, I am not complaining. The long periods of my absence from this space deserves just that. Every time I promise to you and myself to be regular and every time I break it.

Yes, blogdosts, I need you again! It might sound selfish of me, yet, there is no other way that I can think of to gather good thoughts, prayers and blessings...as that is exactly what Kati needs today.

A colleague and a very good friend and human being, she has been fighting a lone battle against cancer for over a decade now. Currently, she is in the ICU in a hospital in Boston. She had been in India for nine months till September last year and had been undergoing chemotherapy here. However, her health deteriorated when she reached US and it's worse now. The medicines and therapies don't seem to be working and as prayers work more than medicines....I urge you to keep her in your prayers as she needs them most today and so does her family and friends.

Though I have known her for less than a year, she is an epitome of strength and inspiration for everyone around her. Even after having told that she would need to take chemotherapy as the last resort to cure her cancer, her zest for living life to the fullest never took a back seat and she made many friends in a country where she hardly knew the local language! A very determined and strong lady, she never let go of her positive attitude. We, from office, took turns to be with her at the hospital during her chemo sessions and once she would wake up, we'd discuss the latest books, movies, theatre and so many other things. While leaving for the US, she gifted me a stack of books, including the Twilight series, and promised to make it to my wedding whenever it takes place.

I want her to keep her promise and I need you, blogdosts, to help her. Please pray that she copes and recovers and wins against the odds. Please pray that she walks out from the hospital as her smiling and healthy self again. Please pray that our Kati wins this battle and emerges victorious.

Prayers work miracles and we've proved that once before on this blog. Let's do it again, blogdosts.

Are we all not so hooked onto Facebook?! Okay...count me in the clan...for there are rare days when I go on without logging in once just to see what my friends are up to. Yes, I do take the pains to read the various things posted on my wall...just to see what people have been up to while I have been missing from Live action!

And there are these status updates there, which are simply so refreshing. You can get the mood of the person through their status message! You like or dislike, agree or disagree, love or hate....you cannot IGNORE them! After my previous sad post, I had to do something to make it up for all of you [ain't I so nice :))]. So, during the last week, I have captured the various interesting status messages of people.

This post is entirely by all my FB friends and for all my blog friends and readers! [Except for minor edits, I haven't made any changes.]

Read on....

1. Just because people grow old, does not mean they grow up.
2. Beatitude=Having a day & the unit to yourself :)
3. Behind every beautiful girl, there's a dumb ass guy who did her wrong and made her strong..
4. Dreaming of a hill top, sitting under a big old oak tree, with a my favourite novel and big cup of Hot Chocolate in my hands, bit of a fragrant breeze of wild and colourful blooms all around. . .. Ahhhhhh blissssss!!!!!!!!
5. Delhi's Daredevilss.. will cheww up the Mumbai Indians...!!! Mr.Thackrey hope ain't reading this ...!!!!
6. Good things take time, Great things happen all at once....
7. If women didn't exist, most of the money in the world would have no meaning.
8. I came, I saw, I started to conquer... but then I got tired and said to hell with it.
9. Today was not my day at all - everything was a mess - literally! Do I need a vacation? Do I? Don't I? Do I?..........................I do! :(
10. Docs ought to be given intuitive intelligent comps (to maintain their speed) so that they can "type" instead of "write" prescriptions....
11. I have decided to see if alcohol is the answer to all my problems.
12. It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat. Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don't eat has been proved to be indispensable for life. But I go marching on.
13. I might not be your Knight in shining amour, but do have an Aluminium foil...
14. I think my guardian angel is on dope.
15. Today's Goal: #1. Get out of bed before 12:00pm: Failed. #2. Stay away from Facebook: Failed. #3 Be cute, charming and adorable: Did not attempt. #4 Get drunk: In Progress.
16. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
17. As Time Goes By....Things just Cease to Matter......and that Paradox is called Life ! ! ! !
18. Would like to know if anybody knows how to use the Internet??? Mine is stuck on Facebook...;-)
19. If people say something bad against you, judge you as if they know you, don’t get affected, just think think. That the dog doesn’t bark if he knows the person.

Thanks dear FB friends! You people make my wall something to look forward to every day :)

Till the next post...take care, blogdosts,and stay precious :)

You reach out to a *friend* with open arms, willing to share her miseries, and even more ready to help her out of them....providing all the support you can. And then suddenly the *friend* disappears from the scenes without a hint, and you remain there to face the truth, to realize that it was all an 'in-your-face' lie. You didn't once even think that it could be a farce, a fake. You trusted your *friend* and that's the only wrong you did.

Yeah, you got it just right. This happened like last week and my heart and mind are still reeling under that effect. I need to get my thoughts straight and understand why, in the first place, was I led on to believe in all that was said to me? Like any other individual, who could have been in my shoes, I did not only sympathise, but empathised with the victim. Yes, I believed that she was the victim. And the sole reason behind it was that I had been a victim of similar circumstances and so, I only thought it right to hold out and be there for her.

And isn't that what most of us do, if not all? We believe the person who we know (supposedly) and are often made to think that everything that the person says is true; that the entire world seems to be conspiring against him/her; that he/she has been wronged and all that! And we have even more reason to believe in all of that if we have been in a similar muddy situation ourselves!

As for me, all I can think of is that my choice of the person was wrong and so I was prejudiced. For there is no other way that I can justify all that happened. The pride I take in my friends has been affected and I feel cheated. That does not make me suspect others around me; but it does make me more careful of my choices. I don't want one incident to make me feel this way for others around me. For I have friends that I still am proud of for they are who I chose for myself. And even now, they give me the assurance that this is just a one-off incident. Yet, the words remain - I feel cheated. There is anger. There ought to be anger. But it's not for anyone else, but myself. The damage done, the retrospection over, I need to move on from here....only a little more cautious and careful... I am not the one to forgive easily, I'd rather let go.

Will not let leave you all on such a note, blogdosts, and will make up for it before the day ends. Till then, take care and stay precious :)

I feel humbled by your concern and love, blogdosts. Blogging is an integral part of me now, but more so are you all who make it so special. Last week, when I wrote the last post, I thought I'd keep away from this space for at least two weeks and give some rest to all turbulence and turmoil within me. At times, you just need to let go and that's what I aimed to do. However, I acted selfish and forgot that this little impulsive act can worry people who I hold so dear.

Isn't it so strange? I have not met most of you and in fact, have not even interacted apart from blogger or may be Facebook and networking tools. We live far away from each other....with instances where continents and oceans separate us, yet, we seem so close. When we read about each other and what's happening in our lives, we feel we are right there as a part of each others' lives. There's a special bond we share... a bond so gentle and yet so strong.

When I began blogging, it was to provide an outlet to that urge of writing within me...and today, it is part of my being. My days seem incomplete without Brittany's Not-me Mondays and all posts that are so simple, hilarious and yet, make you think....every day, I look forward to latest pictures of Elizah and Ethan and words of wisdom from Melissa....Nupur's posts make me feel as if it is a part of talking from the other end... Ani's posts personify a simplicity that humbles me....The Hall Family fills me with happiness and joy unbound....Teresa's post instill instant happiness and smiles....Mrs Potts whose posts make the day refreshing....Kelsey's writing rejuvenates instantly and leave me smiling....Winna whose words are so simple and yet so deep...Sarika, who met by coincidence but went on to become a good friend....Jenn who inspires me with her strength and courage...

To all of you and all others who make me feel loved and listened to... Zainab, Bala, Shubhjyoti, Pushkar, Haddock, Antarman and everyone else.... It's the unseen support and our special bonds that keeps me going. And my only request...always be there...I sure am not asking for too much :))

Will post the next surprise before the next week...and for the last post....Winna, mail me your address (I'll send yours and Bala's gifts together!); Shubhjyoti, I'll hand you your gift this coming Monday :)

Till then, blogdosts, take care and stay precious :)

Been quite some time, eh! Yeah, I know... after all, my resolution to write only after Gagan recovers. And I am back, keeping true to my promise with a new post! Come on, Smile now :))

First things first, a BIG THANK YOU to all my blogdosts! Wish I could express it better here. Nevertheless, A very big thank you from the core of my heart for all your prayers and wishes for Gagan. Prayers work miracles and unfold those magical elements that we yearn earnestly for. Your prayers gave Gagan the strength and resistance to hold on and so he did. Yes, he is recovering; though, will take some time to return to his usual self. Last Sunday, I asked him if he remembered my blog and he nodded. Then I told him that I have not written since he's there and asked if he wanted me to write. He held my hand tighter... and... smiled. And trust me, no other moment has given me more happiness in the past one month! After this meeting, there seemed to be a spring in me; I was laughing, talking and even playing with a ball outside the ICU (something that Lagan , Gagan's younger brother, noticed and pointed out to me!)!

The day when Gagan did not respond to me, I was shaken to the core; but when Zaffar asked me to get all Ruskin Bonds for him to keep my promise, a new sense of hope and faith came within me. Thank you Zaffar for restoring the faith and belief within me, which had forsaken me then. Your unrelenting patience gave me the strength to look forward. And thank you Lagan, for it was your never-say-die attitude that gave us the courage to stand upright. Until this incident, I had only heard about you, but when I met you, I felt I've known you since forever. I had resolved not to meet Gagan till he doesn't call for me (I know that was being stupid and childish!) and even did that for a week when Lagan messaged me saying that I should meet him for the sake of Gagan and myself. And the next day, when I met Gagan, he responded to everything I said! Zaffar and Lagan, our Bunty-Babli jokes stay between us, but they sure gave us all these fun and light moments! (God, if only they come to know who I am referring to!!)

Thank you Pushkar! If it had not been for you in these testing times, I would not have known who to turn to! From educating me about all those reports written in Greek (yeah, your medico language rather) to all those GCS readings (each one of us asks for the latest GCS reading when they go to see Gagan!) to listening to me and just being there always has been the greatest support. I am glad you are a doctor, but happiest that you are my friend!

And Jalpesh (if at all you read this!), thanks for ensuring that a bed is not booked for me there :). I have been cooking religiously for 3 weeks now and I am proud of you for making me do that!

The last one month has truly been a month of realizations and redefining priorities in life. Life gave us all a lesson of how unpredictable it can be and the blow came unexpected from nowhere, leaving us all helpless. There were moments of despair, but then the very thought that despair is contagious, the other one would hide their tears and bring up a smile to ensure that others did not fall weak. Then, there were those moments when even a small gesture brought immense joy to one and all. Each day in the last month has been full of prayers, hopes, faith, determination, bonding and.... love! And a month when I met some more wonderful people I now admire for all of their patience, faith and strength. Thank you, Almighty!

While I am writing this, its 6.51 am by the watch and birds are chirping to glory outside my balcony. The same language that I've never understood, but which has always indicated a new day, a new beginning and a new life to me. I guess I will go, stand for a while on my balcony, watch the rising sun, listen to the birds a little more closely and have a little tete-a-tete with the Superior one out there. I know He listens!

PS - I, hereby, promise a new post at regular intervals; and blogdosts, you can define these intervals and I promise not to let you down! :)

January 1, 2 am - a night I'd never forget... when I felt that the entire world had collapsed around me and I stood there, bereft ad helpless. I didn't know what to do, who to call. Tears knew no limits and life seemed to have lost its meaning. I called him. He was there to listen, to comfort... he was with me. And not only then, he has always been with me ensuring that I stand strong. In fact he is one of those few people I consider my Support System.

He is one of the strongest person I know... a real fighter - a person who'd not deter from calling a spade, spade. In fact, he is a source of my strength too. At a time when I was all lost, confused and shattered, he encouraged me to stream my energies and know the real me. 'You have to write and continue writing... you write really well and I will make sure that you always write!' One of the first appreciations and a great source of motivation when I became active on my blog space here. I receive a call every time I publish a new post, telling me he loved it. I know that he reads and rereads my posts and forwards my blog link to every friend. And if I catch him in between writing a comment to a post, he flips the screen and asks me to read them later.

And then, there are those days, when he waits for me after his shifts ; we go out, have paranthas or gol guppas.... and talk endlessly with all those high-fives in between. Whenever I call him, I am greeted with 'haanji', something that I am so used to now, rather than the usual 'hello'. The other day he said he will kill me if I don't get all Ruskin Bonds I have and needless to say, I have been forgetting to get them for him for the last four weeks now. I am not even able to open my mouth to explain and he'd retort, 'rehne de, excuses na dena... I will kill you now!' All I can do then is smile. And then, there's this party we have planned that is long due and of course, he has something to say to that too - 'aap toh badde log hain...time hi nahi hota!' He's someone with whom I can talk, share, crib, agree and disagree with no inhibitions or fear. At times, I fear his scoldings, but I know they are all for my benefit. He is one friend who has and will always be there, I know.

It was like any other day on Wednesday when I called him at around 2 in the afternoon. But on the other end, I heard a different voice... of another friend. He told me that Gagan has had an accident and he is in the hospital in a critical state. I rushed to the hospital only to know he was still unconscious and doctors were not saying anything certain. It's been 2 days since then... Gagan is still in the ICU, unconscious. I have not seen him till now, because may be I won't be able to bear seeing him that way.

I feel helpless, and I guess, in front of His ways, all mortals do. But I know one thing for certain... where everything else has limits... prayers don't. Today, I need you all, my blogdosts, to pray for Gagan. He needs our prayers. His family needs them. Prayers have the power to make miracles happen. Please pray that he recovers soon. When I go tomorrow to the hospital, I will go and see him. And I will take all your prayers along with me.

Gagan, I know you will read this very soon and might as well want to kill me for this also. By then, though, you will have all the Ruskin Bonds with you. Of course, then we have to plan our party and not just plan, but actually party this time... like I wrote on that picture - We rock together! You'd better get well soon... all of us are waiting... !

Blogdosts, the credit for my profile picture on Blogger also goes to Gagan :). (Dekha Gagan, I don't only take credit, but give it too :) )

"Hey, what's your sunsign?" That's become a sure-shot way to begin a conversation. Our generation is more versed with Linda Goodman and Ceiro and we get ample opportunities to boast of our knowledge as well. I have friends who know about each sunsign like the back of their hands... which sun sign compliments which one - ask them and they will not disappoint you.

While Di and I used to look for suitable brides for our brother, there was a major criteria that he had mentioned - NO Virgo! And we don't blame him for that either.... now, if you had two sisters with that sign, you'd know what I, rather my brother meant and will empathize with him also (Yeah, Di and I belong to the so-called perfectionist cult!!!).

OKK, jokes apart, it is some serious matter. I say 'some', as I still cannot figure out how can I first know the sun sign of a person, before liking him (or her...as your case may be!)? After all, I need to know if we will be compatible! And this whole thing completely refutes the theory of love at first sight! Now, don't tell me that you only fall in love then because somewhere, your personalities give those 'our sun signs are compatible' vibe! Before you question me.... yes, I am also a romantic at heart and believe in love at first sight... and I will keep this topic for another post :).

Coming back to our dearie sun signs, it's a mere coincident that one of my best friends is a Capricorn (Virgos & Capricorns are believed to be really good together..or so they say).. and another one is a Gemini and I still don't know how well my sun sign goes with hers! Then, I am my Di's replica in every sense (except that she is more practical than me!) and we both are Virgos! And my Dad and brother are Sagittarius and my tuning with both of them is simply great (Now, I'm curious to google on the compatibility of these two!). Shivani is a typical Scorpio and we seem to gel really well too. Ankit is a Libra and Dadaji, a Cancerian and they are my lifelines! My Jiju is a Taurus and at times, he understands me better than Di... and my Bhabhi is a Leo (yeah, we found a non-Virgo for my brother, but worse, he has three of us to deal with now!). I'm sure that I have some great people of other not-mentioned sun signs too as very important part of my life.

Though, I am not much into reading about them, and the source of all (restricted!) my knowledge are my Sun sign-guru friends. I'd never mind reading a thick Indian fiction, but the width of Linda Goodman put me off somehow. A school friend got this old coveted version of Ceiro once and we tried to devour it as much in a couple of hours... I barely remember now what it was all about! Of course, I too enjoy reading the daily tiny horoscope in the newspaper and there is this little, but, very important rule that I follow - only the good things are meant for me! Now, how can only 12 types of things happen with everyone in this world everyday? There has to be some segregation there, right? So, I do that part for myself :) (cheeky, na? ;) ).

However, after all this, it still doesn't make straight sense to me... I mean the entire sun sign business. And I tend to desist it all the more when I see it becoming a reason behind wrecked relationships! Yes, I know and have seen people who tend to treat the sun sign compatibility with more reverence than a person and whether or not the relationship can work depends on their sun signs...phew! A friend went to see a girl for matrimony purpose... but didn't agree to their match. He confessed later that though she had every quality that he was looking for in his companion, but their sun signs are not great together! Is that actually a good enough reason??? (Their kundlis did match, by the way!). I do try to make myself believe that such are only some extreme cases. Even then, I do not buy it!!! I'd rather that a person likes and accepts me for my qualities than those mentioned about my sun sign in some book! And if so be the case, then I'm better off without such a person in my life... and I am serious!

Got a little hard there... sorry about that :(. Yet, it's only about the basics that I do try to set right in my life :).

All said and done, an individual holds more importance to me than the qualities foretold by their sun sign. I'd hate myself for losing a great person only because I feel that our signs don't sing along well! And even a little humming is great music to my ears... after all, that's how all great songs begin, right?

I can feel something amiss. Don't know what! But something, somewhere doesn't seem to fit in and to add to the agony, I simply can't figure out what it is. All I know is I am missing something or may be someone!

Isn't life strange? So many years, I dreamed to be what and where I am today. From the very beginning, I worked hard towards it and now, when I have reached that point, I realize that in the process, so many people have been left behind. The moments I spent with them are those beautiful memories that are my source of strength and motivation. Now I know! I know who am I missing... my bestest of friends... those who have been and are always with me with their unconditional love and trust.

At an age when you actually begin to understand what relationships are all about, the first person you can relate to is your classmate cum friend - someone with whom you share you school desk, books, lunch box and stories about your innumerable crushes. Sarah and I were such friends - from sharing the same plate at friends' birthday parties to stealing lunch boxes(.... and you thought I was that seedha!!!), we were partners in every good and naughty deed. But trust me, it was fun and yeah... wicked too :D. Just managing to cross that sacred border line in maths, punishments for spending too much time at the water tank, the one-rupee ice-creams sticks, Chinese treat in a stolen tiffin - we always had so many reasons to celebrate and we made sure we never ran out of them. We never boasted of a great friendship, but there is something that has always kept us close. I know I can call her up at any time of day and so can she. There is a distance between us and yet, none actually.

The college I went to happened accidentally. I was actually planning to graduate in Commerce, but the journalism bug in me (which had smitten me badly then!) made me take up Arts and so I was in this college. But you know what! You meet the most wonderful people at the most unexpected places and occasions. It was my birthday when I asked some girls from my English class to join me for a treat. Little did I know then that I was being gifted with the best gifts of my life! That was the day I met Kaneez, Samana and Yeshi. Something struck right then. Within moments, we behaved as if we have known each other for years! Yeshi had a chauffeur-driven moped (mine, of course) for commuting to and from college and Kaneez had Samana's... and these two never even made the efforts to try riding them and give us the pleasure to ride pillion!

Kaneez was my lucky charm and I ensured that she is present in all the debates and other competitions I participated in (needless to say, Samana had to stay by default:)). She also was part of our basketball team (of course, the credit goes to me! Right Kaneez?) and from being that purdah-clad girl to someone playing in shorts was a complete makeover! It was during one tournament final when one of her cousins from a local TV channel came to cover the match and it was indeed a task to keep Kaneez hidden from his view. Needless to say, we failed to do that and Kaneez had to bear the brunt back home.

We stole our share of fun while going shopping for our college books, bags and other girly things. She would literally tear at her hair whenever she went out with me, with me being one of the most difficult shoppers! Hunting for a handbag across three markets and returning home empty-handed was something she couldn't think of! But yes, she learnt her lessons well and after that, made me promise that I'll go by her choice or at least, make mine soon (yeah...you know... I never did! ;) ). And she was not 'allowed' to wrap her dupattas when she went out with me and during one of those expeditions (yeah...right....another shopping trip :D), we bumped into one of her acquaintances again... something she always dreaded and something which always happened! (I have a little secret to share here.... she is married to the same person! :))

Time flew and soon, I had to leave for Delhi. It was a sight to watch. Kaneez, Yeshi, Samana... all of them came to see me off with their families at the station (to ensure I didn't change my mind ;)). While I could see myself taking the plunge towards living my dreams, they could see me going far away. They had tears in their eyes and a heaviness in their hearts... a feeling that was alien to me in my moment of excitement. While I waved Goodbye to them, little did I realize what I was leaving behind.

Today, it's been five years. From the carefree college-going girls to mature 'women' (I hate to feel so grown up :( ), we are all busy with our lives. And once again, I look forward to those little things I always took for granted.... the once-a-week call with Sarah, online chats with Kaneez at late nights (when her little daughter is off to bed), the occasional conversations with Yeshi and that once-in-a-blue moon chit chat with Samana. No longer do we meet like we met everyday , but even now, a little low voice at the other end and the other one can sense what is wrong. These are those little moments that make my life worth living as they help me realize that the distance may have come in physically, but our hearts can never be far away.

All of you are in different places now and how much ever I may wish, time will never roll back. I want you to know that I treasure all those moments with you and I love you and miss you all a lot! Thank you for being part of my life and making it wonderful with your presence.